"I can’t meditate"

So you read somewhere that meditation helps with reducing stress, increasing creativity, and better focus. There’s only one problem, you tell yourself... I can’t meditate.

I’ve heard this sentence, or variations of it, countless times before. Along with some versions of “I don’t know if I’m doing it right” and “I can’t stop myself from thinking”. Well, I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t matter!

Just like everything you’ve never done before, you can’t do it unless you try (and fail a few times before you succeed). No one is born knowing how to meditate. As easy as it may look, it doesn’t come naturally to most people.

How do I learn to meditate?

This is a tricky question to answer. I believe that meditation can’t be taught, it’s something that comes with practice. I can teach you to sit and close your eyes and focus on your breath. I can give you the tools to start being more present, but you may not achieve a meditative state and that’s ok. If you continue to practice, one day you’ll find yourself in a meditative state, maybe for a few seconds. Then a few minutes. After a while, you may be able to sit in meditation for any stretch of time. The beauty of this practice is that it's still beneficial for us to just sit and close our eyes and breathe.

I can’t clear my mind!

It doesn't matter if you can't switch off your brain and stop thinking. When teaching beginners, I avoid terms like “clear your mind” because it tends to have the opposite effect. Instead of trying to stop your thoughts, I would encourage you to observe them with compassion. For example, notice the quality of your thoughts... are they rushed or calm, are they worried or relaxed, and file them away. You can come back to them later.

Some people prefer being distracted from their thoughts. Which is why I like to try different approaches with students, like a guided visualization or a sound meditation. Remember, the goal is not to control your thoughts, it's to observe yourself and the quality of your mind.

My top tips for getting started

1. Be kind to yourself. Whatever feelings, thoughts or sensations come up, that’s ok. If nothing comes up, that's ok too.

2. Start with 3-5 minutes a day if that’s enough for you, and gradually build up.

3. Encourage yourself to keep practicing. Try it with a friend or an app to keep yourself committed.

4. Experiment with different types of meditation using sound, aroma, lights (candle-gazing), focusing on the breath, a mantra, or any other technique until you find one you’re comfortable with.

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Need help getting started on your meditation journey? Find out more about my yoga and meditation classes.